The First United Methodist Church of Napa, CA
July 18, 2010
8^th Sunday after Pentecost

Scripture Readings:

Hebrew Scriptures – 2 Kings 4: 8-17¹

⁸One day Elisha was passing through Shunem, where a wealthy woman lived, who urged him to have a meal. So whenever he passed that way, he would stop there for a meal. ⁹She said to her husband, “Look, I am sure that this man who regularly passes our way is a holy man of God. ¹⁰Let us make a small roof chamber with walls, and put there for him a bed, a table, a chair, and a lamp, so that he can stay there whenever he comes to us.” ¹¹One day when he came there, he went up to the chamber and lay down there. ¹²He said to his servant Gehazi, “Call the Shunammite woman.” When he had called her, she stood before him. ¹³He said to him, “Say to her, Since you have taken all this trouble for us, what may be done for you? Would you have a word spoken on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?” She answered, “I live among my own people.” ¹⁴He said, “What then may be done for her?” Gehazi answered, “Well, she has no son, and her husband is old.” ¹⁵He said, “Call her.” When he had called her, she stood at the door. ¹⁶He said, “At this season, in due time, you shall embrace a son.” She replied, “No, my lord, O man of God; do not deceive your servant.” ¹⁷The woman conceived and bore a son at that season, in due time, as Elisha had declared to her.

Gospel – Luke 10: 38-42²

³⁸Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. ³⁹She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” ⁴¹But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; ⁴²there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

“There Is Need of Only One Thing.”

Every time that this gospel story comes up, I want to hand it over to somebody else – not just because my own wife’s name is Martha, or because she immediately begins rolling her eyes at me as if to say, “Here we go again!” No, I think it’s because she really does over-identify with the biblical Martha. I mean (and feel free to raise your hand here), how many of you have seen my wife busily at work in the kitchen – even while many others may have already sat down at the table and begun eating? My wife is never first in line – for anything – she wants to see that everybody else is served and happy first. So, what’s wrong with that?

Well, because Jesus humiliates her. That’s why. I mean, who does he think he is? Has he ever slaved over a hot stove in a stuffy kitchen trying to feed a bunch of last-minute, unwelcome guests? No! He seems to prefer some kind of flashy sleight of hand: like the time at that wedding in Cana when he changed a simple water bottle into five-star Cabernet Sauvignon. What’s up with that?

I want to say, though, that all three of the people in our story – each in her or his own way – have chosen the one thing that each of them thought was important. The trouble only began when it seems like somebody wanted to take that one thing away.

Martha’s spiritual gift may be hospitality, but as the story unfolds she offers us all a perfect example, I think, of the futility of triangulated conversations – the kind of “he said…she said” slings and arrows that end up with nobody really being heard. The best clues for us that this is happening are our impulsive assumptions – and let’s be clear, here, at one time or another we’ve all been either one or both of these sisters. Martha assumes #1, that Jesus doesn’t care, #2 that her sister has purposely “left" her” “to do all the work by herself,” and #3, that she, Martha, has every right to tell Jesus what to do. Viewed through this kind of dysfunctional “family systems” lens Jesus’ response to Martha, I’m sorry, really isn’t all that helpful – even though it actually makes Jesus much more human to me (which I just love!). For once he doesn’t seem like the skilled and compassionate counselor that many of us always assume that he was.³ He steps right into the trap of Martha’s assumptions because it looks like he “chooses” Mary’s side, her right to want “the better part.” And that, believe me, has caused all kinds of heartache and outrage for the Marthas of the world ever since!

Even I’ve come to appreciate the fact that by letting yourself get sucked into a comparative evaluation in response to the assumptions that someone like Martha makes here, inevitably means that you end up never really paying attention to her own unspoken needs. What are they? Do you or I know without asking her? What is it that she desires most of all here: compassion? …recognition? Is it really true that all she wants is somebody to help her out in the kitchen or with the housework? Nobody asks her. Of course, Martha’s playing the martyr game – maybe one that she’s all too familiar with – the one that has her saying to herself between clenched teeth, “If anybody really cared about me they’d know how I feel!” That is the classic pitfall against establishing any kind of an intimate relationship. Nobody knows what she’s really feeling because she won’t say.

So even Jesus, it seems, fails to find out the “one thing” that Martha needs or values above all others. You and I might expect more from him, but his response doesn’t seem to empower either Mary or Martha to relate to him or to each other differently – to move the moment toward some kind of reconciliation. Again, just as a trained counselor and listener, myself, I want to ask what might have happened had Jesus really listened for Martha’s unspoken desires – in her own terms – without having to compare her to Mary? Just noticing how different these two sisters were from each other, we’d probably be right in assuming that this conflict between the two of them must’ve been going on long before Jesus ever showed up. You think?

But what if this triangle-trap had simply been approached with, say, a gentle question – something like, “Martha, what is the deepest longing of your heart? What do you want most of me?” I’ll bet you that it probably really wasn’t that she wanted him to impose a makeover on Mary. Whatever it was that was never said or asked, Martha’s lack of self-awareness is so human – so much like every one of us – isn’t it? We not only see it in ourselves, we see it in our families, in the church, across the community; we see it all over the place. How many times do we get tangled up, yet again, in these “he said…she said” kinds of dynamics when everybody involved simply has needs or desires that none of us have been paying attention to – desires that could’ve easily been met without upsetting or harming anybody? Imagine what Martha’s own relationship with Jesus (let alone with her sister) could’ve been like, had she been able to claim, and then value, her own need for a deeper connection – beyond all of that other stuff that was distracting and upsetting her?
Now before any of you women out there begin mumbling to yourselves (if you haven’t already), “How could you, a man, ever know how it feels to be a woman?” I want to offer a comment made by another biblical scholar from the Jesus Seminar, Kathleen Corley:

… Jesus does encourage Mary, who is seated at his feet.  However, although such a position does indicate that Mary is receiving instruction, her posture reflects a more conservative, matronly role, and she remains silent throughout the scene.  The more radical stance would have been to invite Mary to recline with him like an equal on a banquet couch…  In these Lukan stories Jesus does not appear radical in his relationships with women; it is the women who are bold, not Jesus.⁴

For those of you who were here last week, you remember, this story of Mary and Martha comes right after the story of the Good Samaritan; and there it was a Samaritan, not a Judean, who acts boldly, decisively, and with compassion. So, in this Jewish and male-dominated society, we have two people from the fringes who are acting out of character, acting boldly if you will, by refusing to live according to somebody else’s rules. And yet, for all kinds of reasons, we here in the church have sought to interpret – or just allowed others to interpret for us – the story of Mary and Martha as one about the virtues of being passive, attentive…and silent!

This then begs the question of how this text might have given us a different message had Mary been given voice and Martha been the silent (or silenced) one. All that we know about Mary at this point is that she sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to what he was saying. We can imagine (especially if we grew up with one or more sisters) that Mary felt affirmed by being able to sit and listen – and, okay, maybe even enjoying a little smugness or sense of preferential connection to Jesus. But she still could’ve felt compassion for her sister. Maybe she hoped that Martha, too, would slow down just long enough to be able to come to an awareness of her own need for a deeper connection. What’s more, if Mary had been given a voice in this text, maybe she would’ve more easily connected with her sister’s unspoken desires and helped her identify them – given them voice. Then the household chores would’ve been left in their place, something to get to later – like dishes piled up next to the kitchen sink. But then we wouldn’t be wondering about the many different and deeply rich meanings that we’re able to get out of this parable.

Most of us have probably heard this text presented as a comparison and contrast between discipleship (doing ministry: Martha) and devotion (receiving blessings: Mary) – where ­discipleship is the actual stuff of caring for the community, and devotion is our need to pay close attention to our relationship with and emotional commitment to God. And yet this parable could teach us all that discipleship and devotion don’t have to be at odds with each other. Maybe this little story can still move us to a deeper awareness of those deeply personal and yet often unspoken desires that can then lead to a more intimate connection for us all – no matter who does the dishes.

In the end, who knows how this encounter really happened. Luke is a great storyteller; and every storyteller is always trying to make a point. These stories, then, aren’t told just to entertain us. They’re part of our revered scriptures because they’re meant to empower us, to transform us, and then invite us to re-imagine our world. We’re being invited to live life to the fullest extent possible, to love wastefully, and to be all that we were meant to be.

But we’ve first got to know this about ourselves: “What’s the one thing that I long for the most?” It’s not just Martha or Mary who have to answer that question.

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